and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works,
lest anyone should boast.”
When you come to the Lord Jesus for the first time, regardless of the circumstances, it means that on some level you have come to the realization that you cannot save yourself, that salvation is only possible through Him. No one seeks a Savior if they believe they can still save themselves. Only when you realize that you cannot save yourself will you acknowledge your need for Someone Else to do the saving. This is usually not the result of some intellectual argument or emotional plea, but the cold hard reality one faces after having tried unsuccessfully to do everything on their own.
We may fail once, twice, a dozen times, a hundred times. But when we finally surrender to God we are decreased, and He is increased. Practically speaking it simply means a little less confidence and faith in yourself, and a little more confidence and faith in Christ.